Hello you!
Introduction
In recent years, there has been a surge in awareness regarding topics like suicide and depression with the rising popularity of shows like “13 reasons why” and singers like billie eilish. There have also been a string of celebrity losses in the kpop industry. We hear of suicides committed and/ or attempted by not only the famous but also classmates, neighbours and family members and I wonder, what do you guys think about it? Do you think about it? What are some of the feelings, thoughts, and convictions that run through your hearts and minds?
More often than not, I am led to wonder what is this?? What is this evil that compels a person to give up all hope of a better tomorrow? What is this issue that pervades the whole of society? From the poor or the marginalised to the rich and most “blessed” - no one category of people is spared.
Why?
It seems to boil down to the absence of hope – the absence of a cheering anticipation or confidence that things will pick up maybe tomorrow or the day after. Life is harder than we imagine. Seemingly insignificant troubles plague our everyday lives. Making a disastrous mistake at work. Feeling like nobody really understands. Being hurt by a careless remark or a selfish act by someone you don’t care for very much or by someone who matters a lot. Maybe it is even less tangible than that -- when nothing in this world seems to satisfy that gaping appetite in our hearts. Sometimes, we live life on autopilot, aimlessly following the trajectory that has been set out for us. Sometimes, we hunt one thing after another only to find that achieving these things simply leaves us starving for more.
As a Christian, I believe that we are made with an appetite for perfection and a desire for the supreme good. In other words, we crave for God Himself. And the sad reality is this: the missing piece within us simply cannot be found in anything earthly— be it another person, our career goals/ ambitions, the latest gadgets, or ideal weight targets. This dissatisfaction that we all experience with our present world is arguably shown in the main message of one of the books in the Old Testament named Ecclesiastes. This wisdom book details the thoughts of a preacher who went on a single-minded search for ultimate fulfilment. He considers and adopts several methods, hoping that they will bring about that desired satisfaction: hard work and results (1:3; 2:4-8;); wisdom (1:13); and every earthly pleasures (2:1). None worked (1:8-9). Eventually, he concludes:
“ So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. [10] And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. [11] Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.”
My reflections:
In an earlier part of Ecclesiastes, the preacher works to tell his readers that our meaning cannot be found in this life, “vanity of vanities, all is vanity!”. When I first read this, I was struck by the gloominess of this reality. But I simultaneously found my feelings of inadequacy and my observations of a broken world and humanity gut-wrenchingly and authentically confirmed and reflected in the Word of God. Who would think that the Bible reflects such an accurate picture of a life sometimes filled with unimaginable pain and empty striving? A far cry from the sometimes nauseatingly-positive one-liners you find on self-help insta accounts and common Christian cliches that we dish out to suffering Christians.
Despite all this despair, there is hope:
You are not alone:
If you do find yourself wondering about the brokenness of this world and the state of life itself, you are not alone. It has always been my prayer that as a community of faith, we’ll be more open to share our thoughts of pain with one another. Our willingness to share makes “doing life” as a family in Christ so much more authentic. Nevertheless, people do fail in this imperfect world. Our attempts to share our inner thoughts and feelings may be met with invalidation and hurt in return. And to that, I wish to say that I’m sorry if that has ever happened to you. I pray that you will understand that misunderstanding and miscommunication is all part of open sharing and that you will not give up on speaking to others about it. That God allotted an entire book’s worth of words on this futility is telling! We should not be surprised when we experience brokenness. Pain is part of the human experience. “Doing life” consists of sharing both joy and grief and we can start by speaking authentically with each other. The leadership team is trying their best to equip DGLs and leaders so that they may grow in sensitivity and wisdom as they too learn how to best journey with each other in this life. Don’t give up! I pray that we will all be open to hearing truth in love from the church family that God has placed in our lives.
If you do feel the aforementioned hopelessness on a more excruciating level - if it feels uncontrollable, unpredictable, all-consuming, that nothing motivates and that even previous interests and sources of happiness no longer excite, I implore you to take a moment to breathe and process what you’ve just read. I hope that it will speak into your situation and that you will feel loved and accepted. I know that it takes more than just a few (or many) words on a page, but know that you are not alone. Speak to someone about it, or think and pray and ask around about someone whom you could speak to about this. The concept of a church in the Bible is always used in reference to God’s people, not the building. Tap on the church and if you should feel compelled to do so, ask to speak to a professional and bring us on that journey with you.
With Love: Noah